December 19, 2006

Nipple Implosion

#1 in a series of postings with horribly misleading but completely accurate titles.

Yesterday, something horrible happened to Jade and me. Please read the following PSA to ensure that the same thing doesn't happen to you.

Nipple Implosion - A Public Service Announcement

Nipple implosion is not a medical condition, but rather an unfortunate situation that occurs when a bottle-feeding child over-zealously sucks on a bottle without stopping to allow any air to enter the bottle. This causes the interior of the bottle to approach a vacuum state. The atmospheric pressure around the bottle exerts pressure on the walls of the bottle. The weakest point of the bottle, in this case, the nipple, is drawn inwards.

If this situation is not caught in time, with a slight popping sound, the seal made by the nipple may break, causing the contents of the bottle to spill all over you and your child.

Nipple implosion may result in a hungry child who screams and squirms and just wants to be fed while you are attempting to get that same child into some dry clothes.

Please pay attention when feeding your child through a bottle. Only you can prevent nipple implosion.


dogsled_stacie said...

That is, without a doubt, the best blog title I've EVER seen! :)

Meandering Michael said...

Thanks. I try. ;)