When Fawn left for a rehearsal this morning, both girls had total breakdowns. Halia got over hers quickly, but Jade kept sobbing. I don't think they do this when I go out. I like to think it's because they're used to it, not because they love their mother so much more than me. Let's face it though, Mom is the SUPREME BENEVOLENT RULER OF THE UNIVERSE and Dad is only Mom's Second-in-Command. Biden to their Obama. Prince Charles to their Queen Elizabeth II. Jimmy Olsen to their Superman. Sonny to their Cher. Patrick to their Spongebob.
I attempted to soothe the sobbing Jade but without success. Halia, dissatisfied with the amount of attention that her sister was getting, flung herself from the rocking horse and began to bawl. What ensued was a sisterly competition of sobbing and wailing and pushing and shoving in a battle to attain 100% of all soothing parental hugs.
It was at that point, with both seemingly-unconsolable children on my lap, screeching and wrestling for my attention, that I had an epiphany.
When we were younger, my brother and I got along just fine - until my Mum entered the room. I don't know what it was, but the second my Mum appeared, we started fighting.
I stood up, brushing both barnacles off me as I rose, declared, "ENOUGH!", put some Ella Fitzgerald on the stereo, and marched out of the room. Neither kid followed. Ten seconds later (literally!), they were both playing together, reading books, sharing with each other, and giggling like mad.
Later, Halia came to me for some food. With the living room to herself, Jade put some music into the CD player. It was Sandra Boynton's song, "Tantrum", as performed by the Spin Doctors.
If you've never heard it before, "Tantrum" is like Rock 'n' Roll for toddlers. It preaches tantrum-like down-with-the-man behaviour. She started singing along. And she kept playing it over and over and over, again and again and again.
Mere moments ago I was dealing with normal little kid behaviour. Now, things were becoming decidedly teenager-ish.
I had a moment of panic. Too soon! Too soon!
Then, she asked me to come camping with her in the living room in a tent that was made by draping a blanket over our heads.
And all was right with the world again.
Oh, and if you're still wondering what "Tantrum" sounds like, check out this video. This kid is destined to become the next Internet dancing sensation.