Daily, in an attempt to get the grass looking a little healthier, I have been cleaning my front yard of dog poo. This is the designated area where Nanuq is allowed to go. He's good about it, and I appreciate it, because it keeps the back yard safe for walking without feeling like you're going through a mine field.
But I have noticed a disturbing thing. I have noticed that almost daily, there is one or two more "deposits" than Nanuq is capable of. Almost daily. Sometimes there are things in the deposits that Nanuq has not had the opportunity to consume. Some of them are much smaller than Nanuq's standard.
Now, I am not Sherlock Holmes, but using the scant (or is it scat) information that I have, I have deduced that someone is letting their dog do it's "doodie" in my yard and isn't bothering to clean it up. Maybe they've rationalized it thusly, "Oh, he's already going to clean up after his dog. What's one more?"
Well, I think that rationalization sucks. So, Mr. or Miss. or Ms. or Mrs. Irresponsible Dog Owner, if I catch you, I'm not going to confront you. No, I'm going to take some of the dog poo you were kind enough to leave in my yard and place it in a big brown paper bag. Don't worry, I'll only use the fresh stuff. Then, I'll bring the bag to your front step, light it on fire, ring the doorbell and run. What happens after that is up to you.
Childish and immature? Sure. But your demonstration of irresponsible dog ownership has brought it out of me. You have been warned.