October 06, 2010

Recipe: Maple Hoffee.

It's that time of year again, when Megan over in the snow-covered hills hosts her "Being David Hasselhoff" contest. If you've never checked it out, you really should. Oh, and you should enter, too. You may recall last year when I won Season One of Knight Rider for my Hasselhoff-inspired Children's Album.

My entry last year was designed to please the auditory senses.  This year, I'm aiming to give you a taste of David Hasselhoff.  Or, at least, what I imagine David Hasselhoff must taste like.  Seriously, how often do you get to taste David Hasselhoff?!

And it's the closest thing to confectionary perfection that I can imagine.  I like to call it "maple hoffee".  It's a delectable combination of sweetness and manliness - just like the Hoffster himself.

Maple Hoffee: The Recipe
1 pkg. bacon or side pork
1 c. maple syrup
1 person to stand over your shoulder and speak in a voice like K.I.T.T.'s.

  • In a non-stick or cast iron pan, fry up the pack of bacon or side pork until desired crispiness is achieved.  If using side pork, season liberally with salt.
  • Remove bacon or side pork from pan and do whatever you want with it.  Believe it or not, we don't care about the bacon or side pork.  We just want the fat.
  • Pour maple syrup into sizzling bacon fat.  Have person standing over your shoulder say "Watch out for sudden boiling and protect yourself from any splattering that may occur!  We wouldn't want to singe those mighty chest hairs now, would we Michael?"
  • Wait for the sizzling to abate (it should only take half-a-minute) and remove pan from heat.
  • Now, you should have a pan full of bacon fat and maple hoffee.  Scrape the maple hoffee out of the pan with a spoon and ladle onto a plate.  Consume while still hot.  Have the person standing over your shoulder say,  "Be careful!  You don't want to burn yourself on the hoffee's hotness, but if you wait for too long to consume it, you might chip a tooth in your eagerness to gobble it all up after it has hardened.  I know I did."
DISCLAIMER: Michael's Meanderings is not responsible for any spontaneous oral orgasms that may occur.

Enjoy the Hofftastic goodness!


Megan said...

This is excellent. I'm going to whip up a batch of Maple Hoffee for breakfast!

And I agree with the safety warning: You don't want to gobble the Hoff after he's hardened.

Dog Hair in my Coffee said...

Are you serious? You would EAT this?

Fawn said...

Oh yes, he would!

Meandering Michael said...

Ohmygoodness!! It'samaaaaaazing!!!

They make maple bacon, why not maple in bacon fat?!

It's sooooooooo gooooooood.