You know your kid has got you all figured out when you say, "Do you want to do this the easy way or the hard way?" and, without a moment's hesitation, the kid answers, "Hard."
They say that the ketogenic diet is more likely to be successful when the parents are creative. I thought that they meant that the parents had to be creative when coming up with meals that fit within the prescribed fat:protein:carbohydrate ratio. I now realise that they meant creativity when it comes to getting your child to eat anything at all. As part of the ketogenic diet, Jade has to eat what she's given. Because the diet has an appetite-suppressing effect, that can be difficult.
This evening, in an attempt to get her to eat her Jello and whipped cream (with anti-convulsant medications sprinkled on top), I resorted to many, many old tricks.
Airplane flying into the hanger? Check.
Bird flying into the nest? Check.
Puppy flying into the dog house? Check.
Bear flying into the den? Check.
Kitty flying into the litter box? Check.
Bunny flying into the warren? Check.
Fish flying into the underwater cave? Check.
And the list goes on.
After a while, Jade started spinning around in her chair - so I started spinning her right back. Again. And again. And again. It's too difficult to feed the back of her head.
When I could get her to open her mouth, she wouldn't open it large enough to take what would be called a "bite", so I talked about how wide a whale opens its mouth and tried to get her to copy that. It was unsuccessful at first, but it worked later.
I pretended that the spoon was getting heavy and encouraged her to eat the food off so it would get lighter. I think she ate a bite out of pity, not because my arms were getting tired, but because she knew I was getting desperate to find a way to get her to eat the rest of the food.
When we finally got near that bottom of the dish, I asked her to clean off the spoon. That worked, eventually.
It probably took half-an-hour, but she finally ate it all.
Since she hadn't had anything to drink all day, I spent most of the day trying to get some water into her. As long as I tried, she wouldn't take a drop. Her Auntie Nem had a different - and much more successful - strategy.
Pulling two mug-shaped shot glasses out of the cupboards, Nem filled each shot glass with a bit of water and proceeded to introduce my daughter to the wild world of drinking games.
While I cannot deny the success of the venture, I am a little concerned about my two-year-old knowing how to play drinking games.
But, at this point, we'll do whatever it takes to get that food and water down the hatch. She figures out our ploys rather quickly. Since we're only two days into the diet, suggestions are welcome.